A great lesson from my Year in Industry has been not to get hung up on the past, and in particular the numbers arbitrarily assigned to each period of twenty-four hours. The past is not not be longed for, but I will allow myself the odd backwards glance. Numbers are not to be inextricably linked to days gone by, but can make for good code names. As three is both the magic number and the numerological life path number for today, it's prime time for brief reflection on the status of the one, the two, the three, and myself, the zero. I assure you, it'll all add up.
As alluded to in this post, I spent much of March and April struggling to move on from the heady days that came before. The dark side of mixing strong feelings with alcohol was evident from the early hours of February eleventh, seven months ago today, in the messages I sent to the one and the two, because three times is too many. Thankfully, the three was there that night, not only physically to get me home safe, but also digitally to discourage me from interfering too much in the affairs of the one and the two. By March fifth, the pair's affair was seemingly over, but I had a new challenge to face, as I had been fleetingly involved with the one in the way that I wanted to be. I knew at the time that the one was not right for the zero, but I hoped I would one day be proven wrong. The one and the two's evasiveness continued, and on April twenty-eighth I felt the need to step in, leaving the safety of the three behind to follow a lonely path. On June ninth, it became obvious that the one and the two were pairing up after all, and later, with the three, I unknowingly set myself up to do the same. After one more alcohol/feelings combo, there was nowhere left for the zero to go, but up. And up she rose, to partner with the three. One plus two, zero plus three… I told you it would add up.
Who knows if we'll stay as we are? For now, we are all happy, in ways I believe none of us expected seven months ago.
Monday, 11 September 2017
Thursday, 20 July 2017
RIP Chester Bennington
Upon opening Facebook this evening, I was shocked and saddened to learn that Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, has reportedly died at the age of 41. I've realised that impact of a musician's death is rather unique, as the music they created has the potential to get stuck in one's head. Waiting For The End came into mine. I only own one Linkin Park album, A Thousand Suns, but songs like Waiting For The End and The Messenger have already gained greater poignancy. Anyway, I'm writing because I feel like sharing some thoughts.
As with most music I'm into, the story of how I got that way about Linkin Park's fourth album is rather unique. It started in October 2010, the month I went on a school trip to Berlin. I became aware that my crush at the time was a Linkin Park fan, so when we returned from the trip I immediately researched them. Around this time I was also pretty obsessed with the Saw films, so I was delighted to discover that the lead singer, Chester Bennington, starred in Saw: The Final Chapter. Being under 18, I couldn't see the film, but I could listen to the band's music. Before doing so, I read a review of their current (at that time) album, A Thousand Suns, which compared it to U2's Achtung Baby. I duly downloaded the album, and while it didn't dislodge Achtung Baby from my top spot, I rated it very highly indeed. I distinctly remember the overwhelming sense of calm I felt while listening to The Messenger on the way to a Jedward concert on 26 November 2010. I haven't felt exactly like that since.
Changing iPods and being rubbish at redownloading music means I haven't listened to the album in a few years. I decided to tonight and I still find it very impressive and enjoyable, though the joyful nostalgia has been punctured with the odd tear. RIP Chester, thank you for the impact you've had on my life, and on the lives of millions of others.
As with most music I'm into, the story of how I got that way about Linkin Park's fourth album is rather unique. It started in October 2010, the month I went on a school trip to Berlin. I became aware that my crush at the time was a Linkin Park fan, so when we returned from the trip I immediately researched them. Around this time I was also pretty obsessed with the Saw films, so I was delighted to discover that the lead singer, Chester Bennington, starred in Saw: The Final Chapter. Being under 18, I couldn't see the film, but I could listen to the band's music. Before doing so, I read a review of their current (at that time) album, A Thousand Suns, which compared it to U2's Achtung Baby. I duly downloaded the album, and while it didn't dislodge Achtung Baby from my top spot, I rated it very highly indeed. I distinctly remember the overwhelming sense of calm I felt while listening to The Messenger on the way to a Jedward concert on 26 November 2010. I haven't felt exactly like that since.
Changing iPods and being rubbish at redownloading music means I haven't listened to the album in a few years. I decided to tonight and I still find it very impressive and enjoyable, though the joyful nostalgia has been punctured with the odd tear. RIP Chester, thank you for the impact you've had on my life, and on the lives of millions of others.
Saturday, 8 July 2017
I'm seeing U2 tonight!
Things I might think of during each Joshua Tree song:
- Stan Wawrinka
- My solo karaoke performance and kissing whiskey lips
- My debut karaoke performance (technically it was an open mic night)
- The now two guys who mentioned liking this song when I told them I'm a U2 fan
- Sweet sins and bitter tastes left in mouths (does whiskey even taste bitter?)
- My dad playing me the song for the first time because it had something to do with Dream Theater
- Being a dreamer and getting burned by the fire of love
- Providing temporary relief to someone
- Amy
- That I used to really dislike it because I couldn't hear it for the first minute or so
- When I heard U2-2 perform it and I swear they played a bit of the Miracle Drug riff which made me tear up
Sunday, 14 May 2017
Eurovision 2017 and me
It's been a long time coming, but the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 is finally upon us! My Eesti Laul 2017 post details the significance of one particular Eurovision preselection show in my life at the time (which occurred on the eve of a particularly eventful day!) but the entire pre-season has played an integral role in my life!
Albania kicked things off on 23 December, selecting my favourite from 2015, Lindita Halimi, on the same day as had a lovely reunion with my former volunteering co-worker! Fast forward four weeks, and fresh from getting the drunkest I'd ever been (which was superseded on Eesti Laul night) and singing U2's With Or Without You on karaoke, I went out for the second day in a row as Georgia and Belarus chose their entries. After several bars, a club, a kebab shop and a friend's house, I eventually found out the results at Waitrose at 4am, and was utterly delighted that Belarus had chosen their first ever Belarusian language entry by Naviband, which is still my favourite today! The UK's national final was next, and I witnessed Lucie Jones's majestic winning performance in person! The following day, as Finland decided, I was living it up at a U2 tribute concert, and even got to meet "Bono"! I watched the Swiss national final concurrently with the GB vs Canada Davis Cup reverse singles matches for no reason other than Sebalter performing during the interval, then forwent the German selection in favour of a Battle of the Bands competition. I prioritised Eesti Laul semifinals and chatting about eventful nights out over the other selections in mid-February, but got back into things with Latvia at the end of February, and was pleased when Line won, although the lyrics have since become a source of irritation. The Eesti Laul final made for the perfect pre-party to what became a twelve-hour bender, the last hour and a half of which I spent lost on the streets of Exeter. Finding out Verona won at about 10:00pm led me to ramp up the alcohol intake, and impair my memory from about 2:00am onwards, but one thing happened that was impossible to forget. Sunday 5th March was the calm after the storm, as well as the day that two of my favourite songs were chosen. Despite spending the whole day (well, from 08:30 onwards) at home. I tuned in to Romania's final extremely late, and at the exact moment Ilinca feat. Alex Florea emerge victorious, I was notified that I had a visitor, who thankfully was happy to sit through the victory performance of their yodel/pop/rap song. I was alone again by the time Portugal chose Salvador Sobral's sweet Amar Pelos Dois, and the two songs are now inexplicably linked to the memories of that visit.
That was as far as I got before Portugal won the Eurovision Song Contest 2017.
Albania kicked things off on 23 December, selecting my favourite from 2015, Lindita Halimi, on the same day as had a lovely reunion with my former volunteering co-worker! Fast forward four weeks, and fresh from getting the drunkest I'd ever been (which was superseded on Eesti Laul night) and singing U2's With Or Without You on karaoke, I went out for the second day in a row as Georgia and Belarus chose their entries. After several bars, a club, a kebab shop and a friend's house, I eventually found out the results at Waitrose at 4am, and was utterly delighted that Belarus had chosen their first ever Belarusian language entry by Naviband, which is still my favourite today! The UK's national final was next, and I witnessed Lucie Jones's majestic winning performance in person! The following day, as Finland decided, I was living it up at a U2 tribute concert, and even got to meet "Bono"! I watched the Swiss national final concurrently with the GB vs Canada Davis Cup reverse singles matches for no reason other than Sebalter performing during the interval, then forwent the German selection in favour of a Battle of the Bands competition. I prioritised Eesti Laul semifinals and chatting about eventful nights out over the other selections in mid-February, but got back into things with Latvia at the end of February, and was pleased when Line won, although the lyrics have since become a source of irritation. The Eesti Laul final made for the perfect pre-party to what became a twelve-hour bender, the last hour and a half of which I spent lost on the streets of Exeter. Finding out Verona won at about 10:00pm led me to ramp up the alcohol intake, and impair my memory from about 2:00am onwards, but one thing happened that was impossible to forget. Sunday 5th March was the calm after the storm, as well as the day that two of my favourite songs were chosen. Despite spending the whole day (well, from 08:30 onwards) at home. I tuned in to Romania's final extremely late, and at the exact moment Ilinca feat. Alex Florea emerge victorious, I was notified that I had a visitor, who thankfully was happy to sit through the victory performance of their yodel/pop/rap song. I was alone again by the time Portugal chose Salvador Sobral's sweet Amar Pelos Dois, and the two songs are now inexplicably linked to the memories of that visit.
That was as far as I got before Portugal won the Eurovision Song Contest 2017.
Monday, 1 May 2017
The subsequent fifty days (sequel to a post I never wrote)
Fifty days of struggle, of trying to accept but not knowing how, of recklessness and letting fear take hold. Fifty days of learning, of acting okay but not quite being all right. Fifty days that contained enough crying to make up for the lack of it during the fifty days prior. Fifty days that contained wonderful moments for sure, but also regrettable ones, and many that were both. Fifty days of excessive alcohol consumption, and appreciating how it can make you do things you wouldn't do sober. Fifty days that were.
Despite the melancholic introduction, I know it wasn't all doom and gloom, and to prove it, here's a hastily put together list of fifty things from the last fifty days that I'll take with me, through the next fifty days and beyond!
Knowing that the gluten free rocky road pleased Hannah
Having the third best score in the blue roll challenge
The sheer joy I feel each time the pen landing in the tube (hoping the used of present tense doesn't preclude further success at the challenge!)
Catching up with the Pharm girls the Biomedical Ball
Making Rosé wine
Taking photos in the photobooth at Thekla
Seeing Patent Pending live again, hearing songs I needed, and knowing far more lyrics this time
Talking to Joe from Patent PendingCooking chilli properly this time
Having a blood test
Getting the all clear from the blood test
The London Eurovision Party (especially Slavko)
Correctly guessing Levina was going to the toilets, following her, and then meeting her!
Getting Patent Pending's covers album for a reduced price
Almost getting to the end on Higher or Lower
Discovering Salvador Sobral's album
Dancing alone to Dance Alone in the lab toilets
Being in the lab beyond midnight
The pep talk from Lydia after being in the lab beyond midnight
Sending U2 a video of myself cooking gnocchi
Soraya making me realise I'm not a "sensible drinker"
Reading a 53-page paper in one night
My utter delight at Pospisil beating Murray, and later Federer beating Kyrgios
Several walks to supermarkets
The beauty of the new 6/7 branding
Buying a round of Jägerbombs
Eating Ampelmännchen sweets that were 28 months out of date
Getting to chill out at home over Easter
Amar Pelos Dois becoming chicken bites song
Photographing gorgeous sunsets
Watching old Take That videos and PowerPoint presentations I made
Laying beneath the moon
The Code being 809
Supersonic nail varnish
Creating several great nail art pieces (and keeping up appearances on social media!)
Potting two reds (and one black) in pool
Taking selfie videos while singing along to Eurovision songs with Em
Getting 37 points in a pub quiz
Ensuring I eat decent meals (even if they're microwaved)
Making up the A366 negative control solution completely by myself
Listening to Occidentali's Karma at 19:44 and becoming convinced it'll win Eurovision
Listening to Sweetest Thing, Always and various other songs in the lab
Getting incredible joy from dancing to Beautiful Day and C'est La Vie
Learning that any key excludes Ctrl, Alt and Shift
Singing I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For on karaoke
Getting a meatball marinara from Subway after missing the train
Dancing on the bench at Timepiece
Dancing on the tables at The Monkey Suit
Being accepted and listened to by various people in spite of my eccentricities
Hugs
Despite the melancholic introduction, I know it wasn't all doom and gloom, and to prove it, here's a hastily put together list of fifty things from the last fifty days that I'll take with me, through the next fifty days and beyond!
Knowing that the gluten free rocky road pleased Hannah
Having the third best score in the blue roll challenge
The sheer joy I feel each time the pen landing in the tube (hoping the used of present tense doesn't preclude further success at the challenge!)
Catching up with the Pharm girls the Biomedical Ball
Making Rosé wine
Taking photos in the photobooth at Thekla
Seeing Patent Pending live again, hearing songs I needed, and knowing far more lyrics this time
Talking to Joe from Patent PendingCooking chilli properly this time
Having a blood test
Getting the all clear from the blood test
The London Eurovision Party (especially Slavko)
Correctly guessing Levina was going to the toilets, following her, and then meeting her!
Getting Patent Pending's covers album for a reduced price
Almost getting to the end on Higher or Lower
Discovering Salvador Sobral's album
Dancing alone to Dance Alone in the lab toilets
Being in the lab beyond midnight
The pep talk from Lydia after being in the lab beyond midnight
Sending U2 a video of myself cooking gnocchi
Soraya making me realise I'm not a "sensible drinker"
Reading a 53-page paper in one night
My utter delight at Pospisil beating Murray, and later Federer beating Kyrgios
Several walks to supermarkets
The beauty of the new 6/7 branding
Buying a round of Jägerbombs
Eating Ampelmännchen sweets that were 28 months out of date
Getting to chill out at home over Easter
Amar Pelos Dois becoming chicken bites song
Photographing gorgeous sunsets
Watching old Take That videos and PowerPoint presentations I made
Laying beneath the moon
The Code being 809
Supersonic nail varnish
Creating several great nail art pieces (and keeping up appearances on social media!)
Potting two reds (and one black) in pool
Taking selfie videos while singing along to Eurovision songs with Em
Getting 37 points in a pub quiz
Ensuring I eat decent meals (even if they're microwaved)
Making up the A366 negative control solution completely by myself
Listening to Occidentali's Karma at 19:44 and becoming convinced it'll win Eurovision
Listening to Sweetest Thing, Always and various other songs in the lab
Getting incredible joy from dancing to Beautiful Day and C'est La Vie
Learning that any key excludes Ctrl, Alt and Shift
Singing I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For on karaoke
Getting a meatball marinara from Subway after missing the train
Dancing on the bench at Timepiece
Dancing on the tables at The Monkey Suit
Being accepted and listened to by various people in spite of my eccentricities
Hugs
Saturday, 4 March 2017
Eesti Laul 2017
I might not have missed a Eurovision Prediction deadline this Eurovision national final season (yet), but my dedication to the various preselections has waivered a fair amount, in so much that I've only watched 2 of them in full. Those were the United Kingdom (which I saw live!) and Switzerland (while watching a tennis match on TV, and only because Sebalter was the interval act!). Tonight, Eesti Laul brings the total to 3 (or 2.5, because I'll be going out around the time the results show starts)!
Despite being terribly tired and a teensy bit hungover, I diligently watched the semifinals on 11th and 18th February, and even recorded a voice memo during the latter, with commentary on the performances interpolating my 2 hour long summary of the previous night's antics. Now I'd like to publish some of those comments on the internet (with fewer references to the Friday nights out)…
First up, a couple of honourable mentions to songs which didn't make the final, but did, at least, make it onto my iPod:
Leemet Onno - Hurricane
Although I don't care much for the humming intro, I adore the gritty feel of this song, and the witty lyrics really appeal to me. One of my favourites to dance to when I'm alone in the lab, especially with the line "you're dancing round the room/I can’t let you escape!" Despite this, I wasn't too sad that it didn't qualify, for reasons I'll expand on further down…
Carl-Philip - Everything But You
Another song with lyrics I adore, the intro reminds me of the Robbie Williams song "Feel". I think the harmonies in the live version really lifted the song, and I was disappointed when it failed to qualify.
Now on to the finalists!
Liis Lemsalu - Keep Running
"Keep Running" was my initial favourite of Eesti Laul 2017, and I'd still be happy with it getting the ticket to Kyiv! With its evocative verses and infectious chorus, this song really appeals to my restless spirit, and it never fails to enter my head when I'm at a train station. (In fact, all the trains I've caught since I first heard this song have been "right on time!") As a fellow backpack aficionado, I'm particularly captivated by the line "I've got my backpack ready until the end"!
Koit Toome & Laura - Verona
This song is performed well, but I don't particularly care for the instrumentation or lyrics. It's quite pleasant, but I don't think it's engaging enough to do well at Eurovision. Also it couldn't tempt me to order a Verona pizza when we had Dominos deliver to the lab this Thursday…
Whogaux & Karl-Kristjan feat. Maian - Have You Now
This is a song I find myself singing at odd times in the lab, but I never make it much further than the chorus. I really like the way their voices sound together though!
Lenna Kuurmaa - Slingshot
I find this song quite bland, but the performance is pretty engaging at least. I would've preferred one of my honourable mentions to qualify instead.
Daniel Levi - All I Need
Daniel Levi were my winners in 2015, and while All I Need is no Burning Lights, I've grown to adore it, and will definitely download it once the dark and uninviting staging invariably prevents it winning the ticket to Kyiv! I'm very fond of the sweet lyrics, such as "it’s almost light/but the stars keep singing at our feet". I can't avoid mentioning the line "she told me/at random/at 4 am/I’m with you", because it inspired me to drag a couple of friends to Waitrose after a night out, so that I'd still be in their company at 4am! I won't go into what happened the following few Fridays between said friends, but suffice to say, the song reminds me of simpler times!
Elina Born - In Or Out
Another returnee from the 2015 selection, but Elina has the distinction of actually having made it to Eurovision that year, and "In Or Out" could well take her there again! I didn't immediately warm to the song and I think the staging could be improved, but it's certainly catchy and fun, and with Elina's dazzling vocals it would be a good choice for Eurovision.
Ivo Linna - Suur Loterii
The only Estonian language song to qualify, I become more and more fond of "Suur Loterii" each time I hear it! It has a lovely melody, not too dissimilar to his and Maarja Liis-Ilus' Eurovision entry from 21 years ago. Probably not the most sensible choice for Estonia in 2017, but not one I'd be annoyed at!
Rasmus Rändvee - This Love
This song is the reason I'm okay with "Hurricane" not qualifying, because I feared neither would reach its full potential had they been pitted against each other in the final. This song first got stuck in my head the day I needed rescuing from the lab (because of the line "baby don't come look for me"), and it has hardly left since! The lyrics are my favourite of the competition (and the standard is very high!) but the song is elevated further by Rasmus's flawless vocals and tremendous energy on stage! I really hope he delivers the song with as much gusto at tonight's final!
Ariadne - Feel Me Now
This is a very pleasant song with lovely vocals and simple yet effective staging, but I don't feel it's powerful enough to stand out at Eurovision.
Kerli - Spirit Animal
Kerli certainly brings the power! I find the performance highly engaging and very suitable for Eurovision. However I have some reservations about the song: I struggle to remember the verses, and I think the repetition of the chorus gets a bit too much.
So there you have it, my take on the Eesti Laul 2017 finalists! The main show begins in 45 minutes, at 17:30 GMT, while the results show starts at 19:35 GMT, 5 minutes after the party I'm attending tonight starts!
Despite being terribly tired and a teensy bit hungover, I diligently watched the semifinals on 11th and 18th February, and even recorded a voice memo during the latter, with commentary on the performances interpolating my 2 hour long summary of the previous night's antics. Now I'd like to publish some of those comments on the internet (with fewer references to the Friday nights out)…
First up, a couple of honourable mentions to songs which didn't make the final, but did, at least, make it onto my iPod:
Leemet Onno - Hurricane
Although I don't care much for the humming intro, I adore the gritty feel of this song, and the witty lyrics really appeal to me. One of my favourites to dance to when I'm alone in the lab, especially with the line "you're dancing round the room/I can’t let you escape!" Despite this, I wasn't too sad that it didn't qualify, for reasons I'll expand on further down…
Carl-Philip - Everything But You
Another song with lyrics I adore, the intro reminds me of the Robbie Williams song "Feel". I think the harmonies in the live version really lifted the song, and I was disappointed when it failed to qualify.
Now on to the finalists!
Liis Lemsalu - Keep Running
"Keep Running" was my initial favourite of Eesti Laul 2017, and I'd still be happy with it getting the ticket to Kyiv! With its evocative verses and infectious chorus, this song really appeals to my restless spirit, and it never fails to enter my head when I'm at a train station. (In fact, all the trains I've caught since I first heard this song have been "right on time!") As a fellow backpack aficionado, I'm particularly captivated by the line "I've got my backpack ready until the end"!
Koit Toome & Laura - Verona
This song is performed well, but I don't particularly care for the instrumentation or lyrics. It's quite pleasant, but I don't think it's engaging enough to do well at Eurovision. Also it couldn't tempt me to order a Verona pizza when we had Dominos deliver to the lab this Thursday…
Whogaux & Karl-Kristjan feat. Maian - Have You Now
This is a song I find myself singing at odd times in the lab, but I never make it much further than the chorus. I really like the way their voices sound together though!
Lenna Kuurmaa - Slingshot
I find this song quite bland, but the performance is pretty engaging at least. I would've preferred one of my honourable mentions to qualify instead.
Daniel Levi - All I Need
Daniel Levi were my winners in 2015, and while All I Need is no Burning Lights, I've grown to adore it, and will definitely download it once the dark and uninviting staging invariably prevents it winning the ticket to Kyiv! I'm very fond of the sweet lyrics, such as "it’s almost light/but the stars keep singing at our feet". I can't avoid mentioning the line "she told me/at random/at 4 am/I’m with you", because it inspired me to drag a couple of friends to Waitrose after a night out, so that I'd still be in their company at 4am! I won't go into what happened the following few Fridays between said friends, but suffice to say, the song reminds me of simpler times!
Elina Born - In Or Out
Another returnee from the 2015 selection, but Elina has the distinction of actually having made it to Eurovision that year, and "In Or Out" could well take her there again! I didn't immediately warm to the song and I think the staging could be improved, but it's certainly catchy and fun, and with Elina's dazzling vocals it would be a good choice for Eurovision.
Ivo Linna - Suur Loterii
The only Estonian language song to qualify, I become more and more fond of "Suur Loterii" each time I hear it! It has a lovely melody, not too dissimilar to his and Maarja Liis-Ilus' Eurovision entry from 21 years ago. Probably not the most sensible choice for Estonia in 2017, but not one I'd be annoyed at!
Rasmus Rändvee - This Love
This song is the reason I'm okay with "Hurricane" not qualifying, because I feared neither would reach its full potential had they been pitted against each other in the final. This song first got stuck in my head the day I needed rescuing from the lab (because of the line "baby don't come look for me"), and it has hardly left since! The lyrics are my favourite of the competition (and the standard is very high!) but the song is elevated further by Rasmus's flawless vocals and tremendous energy on stage! I really hope he delivers the song with as much gusto at tonight's final!
Ariadne - Feel Me Now
This is a very pleasant song with lovely vocals and simple yet effective staging, but I don't feel it's powerful enough to stand out at Eurovision.
Kerli - Spirit Animal
Kerli certainly brings the power! I find the performance highly engaging and very suitable for Eurovision. However I have some reservations about the song: I struggle to remember the verses, and I think the repetition of the chorus gets a bit too much.
So there you have it, my take on the Eesti Laul 2017 finalists! The main show begins in 45 minutes, at 17:30 GMT, while the results show starts at 19:35 GMT, 5 minutes after the party I'm attending tonight starts!
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