Eurovision 2021: Semifinal 1

For the first time in two years, we have a fresh crop of Eurovision non-qualifiers. Unfortunately for me, they included three of the four countries whose flags I painted on my nails (congratulations Lithuania!) but despite that, I think every qualifier was deserving, there just weren't enough qualification spots! 

I'm most upset for Montaigne from Australia, who didn't get to perform her entry live because of travel restrictions. Technicolour is a glorious song and she absolutely nailed the vocals, but having an extra couple of months to prepare could have produced better staging which matched the energy of the song.

Ireland's Lesley Roy had very innovative staging, which I fear detracted from the song itself, but I'll always adore the free feeling of Maps! It could be my favourite Irish entry ever!

Roxen from Romania's song holds a special place in my heart after getting me through some tough days, and there were some great moments in her performance.

I thought Croatia's performance was excellent, the only reason I can think of for it not getting through is that the song runs out of steam and gets a little repetitive towards the end.

Slovenia and North Macedonia's songs were also very well performed; I'd wager that the songs themselves weren't enjoyed so much by the voting audience.

I was delighted that The Roop made it through with my second favourite song of that title (which isn't that far behind the UK number 1 that includes the "h") and Tix's song made me more emotional than Roxen's on the day, so I certainly can't fault Norway's qualification. I was pleased that Hooverphonic returning to their roots paid off, and Eden Alene's enthusiasm and whistle notes elevated Set Me Free, after my disappointment with the revamp. Elena, Efendi and Destiny were the picture of confidence, and I couldn't help but get behind Manizha and Go_A's powerful entries, countering the English language dominance (I find it interesting that with the exception of one chorus, all the non-qualifiers were in English). I was also pleased to see Tusse qualify with the third Swedish entry in a row that I've gotten enjoyment from!

Let's hope I feel this good after semifinal 2 too!

Eesti Laul Semifinal 2

Three songs for Eurovision 2021 will be chosen tonight, but my attention is firmly on Estonia's second semifinal! I thoroughly enjoyed semifinal 1 on Thursday, but I wasn't passionate enough about any of the songs to post about it. That's not the case tonight; there are precisely 3 songs I really hope qualify! 

Magus Melanhoolia - Jüri Pootsmann

While I loved Jüri's 2016 Eurovision entry, it's brilliant to see him back at Eesti Laul with a song that's much more his style! Despite its brief length, "Magus Melanhoolia" (Sweet Melancholy) packs an emotional punch, and I'm confident Jüri will deliver those awesome high notes tonight!

Lost in a Dance - Gram-Of-Fun

This song is such a joy, I was hooked from the first listen! The video is very entertaining too, and I'm intrigued to see whether any elements will be brought to the semifinal stage.

Sunday Night - Rahel

A rank outsider for qualification, I'll be ecstatic if this song makes it through tonight! The lyrics are very evocative and the song builds to a gorgeous chorus, which makes the most of the ability to feature additional backing vocals, while keeping Rahel at the forefront. 

Valonetine's Day

I've never been big on Valentine's Day, but this year, not being able to see my partner has gotten me down. Not today specifically – I knew it was unlikely that either of our lockdowns would be lifted by now – but how many days, weeks and months it will be before we are allowed to see each other again. Even when the lockdowns are lifted, we'll still have to justify visiting each other as "essential" because the border is closed from my side, and ironically, my country is the one currently allowing non-cohabiting couples to meet up without distancing, even during lockdown!

Being a student, I was fortunately allowed to return to home over the Christmas holidays. Confirming that my "home" for the holidays is now my boyfriend's flat rather than my familial home felt odd, but it was lovely to have the opportunity to be with him again after 2½ months apart. I returned to my university country on 4^th January, mere hours before the new lockdowns were announced. Initially, I was quite content to be in lockdown; it provided certainty and meant that we were both in the same boat despite living under different governments. Outwith a lockdown situation, we have to deal with the fact that it's illegal to cross the border without an essential reason. Visiting the other half of an extended household is permitted under my travel rules, but travelling over 300 miles to do so is definitely not in the spirit of lockdown, especially as people have been fined for making journeys of under 10 miles.

While the outlook is uncertain, I'm buoyed by the pace of vaccination in both countries. We've still been able to do something nice, ordering each other takeaways to mark the occasion, and I'm hopeful that I'll be allowed to visit again around Easter. For now, I should be thankful that we both have work to keep us occupied, good health, and we will be reunited at some point!

Fulfilling my promise

To my knowledge, I've never made a promise to my boyfriend of three-and-a-quarter years. I used to think I was good at making and keeping promises: it seemed the default behaviour of an extremely shy and nervous child. I grew up terrified of being told off by anyone other than my immediate family. In school and beyond, I avoided doing wrong by not doing much of interest at all. Somehow, I maintained pleasant groups of friends in primary school, secondary school and even during undergrad, despite rarely contributing to lunchtime conversations and lacking opinions on most topics. I was known for being clever, and happy to share my knowledge when asked, but was otherwise, much like the main character on one of my favourite TV shows, a functional mute. Only on special occasions did I show much character: I played the lead in the year six play, sang my heart out on a cold autumnal walk back from an under 16's nightclub in Berlin, and sang terrible karaoke while wine-drunk in a student bar on a Thursday night. Three nights later, I was back to being the quiet one, speaking no more than three full sentences on the night I met my now-boyfriend. The next few months I saw as an awakening, but in reality they were defined by misguided emotions combined with the freedom to test my limits for the first time. Thankfully, things sorted themselves out nicely; a month after the worst night of my life, I was looking forward to a first date, and at the time of writing, that is still my most recent first date. Mind you, it hasn't all been plain sailing: not even a year in, I made the massive decision to move to a completely different part of the country for three years; at a birthday party the following year I was so in my own little world that he couldn't enjoy himself and decided we should go home, and we haven't really enjoyed any of the three new years we've spent together, with me ending up in tears more often than not.

When I was young, I cried a lot. I've never been very aware of the people around me, so I don't know whether this was particularly notable to them, but I do know I never found out why I had such outbursts. I've never wondered much about why my parents didn't seek the answers; maybe they were afraid of what the answers might be, thinking they couldn't deal with it. We've always been very insular as a family, not helped by the fact that neither of my parents drive. Looking back, I feel my cleverness masked any lack of skills and assuaged any worries, but I've never broached the subject to anyone but my sister, and even then, we skirt around the emotional aspects. I certainly can pass as a normal human being, and sometimes I even think I am. Normality is a spectrum and there's no way I'm wholly abnormal. I progressed from top achieving pupil to top achieving graduate, and amassed several offers for postgraduate study, without questioning whether I was suitable or capable. I had a strong interest and a decent explanation for why I wanted to progress in this way, but no real understanding of how to get things to happen or ask the most basic of questions. I agonise over writing emails and deciding how and when to follow things up. The lockdown, for all the joy I got from learning that I can live quite successfully with my boyfriend, only compounded my communication difficulties, and now I face the arduous task of making it clear that I need some sort of help, things are not "okay", as I always find myself responding when asked. I'm actually floundering in insecurity and struggling to maintain the façade. I can't promise because I don't know my own mind; I can't trust myself to remember important details or complete tasks in a timely manner; I can't focus or prioritise or conclude any of the many threads which have formed a matted mess of files across half a dozen storage locations. The extra screen time can't have been good; my glasses prescription has worsened by 0.5 in two years, but I at least managed to get tested without weeks of indecision. 

I have to move from contemplation to action; self-love and good faith may tide me over between the troughs, but I shouldn't be looking to sustain the status quo, I should be seeking my most able, productive self. I should be able to hold myself to account, and to have confidence that I will succeed at things I want to do for the people who are most important to me. I shouldn't be scared to promise, or to fulfill my promise.

Get out your worries

I have been thinking and worrying too much, so the point of this post is to get it out so that I may sleep. A fortnight ago, I travelled home for the first time since returning to the lab, and despite keeping distance from my family, wearing face coverings on public transport and increased use of hand sanitiser, it felt much more normal and comfortable than my visit in July. Since then, more rules have been introduced, but they would've made very little difference to my trip. In fact, now that people in established relationships do not have to distance, the new rules would actually make me feel better! (I justified being close to my partner because we did move in together pretty much at the start of lockdown and the only reason I left was to return to work once it reopened.)

It is all too easy to feel restricted, particularly now that students have been asked "not to go to bars or other hospitality venues" this weekend, but I can only control my response, and that is to adhere to the request. I am exceedingly thankful that both of the governments I live under now allow couples to meet without distancing, even during these additional restrictions, and I will take advantage of this to keep my relationship going as well as possible. I am also thankful that I have two lovely flatmates, with whom I will be happy to isolate if the time comes. 

I can only do what I can do!

A-level playing field

This post was originally published on my academic blog, http://msci-going-on-phd.blogspot.com/.

Today, six years on from the day I received my A-level results, another cohort was just awarded their grades. Unlike those of us who came before, this year's crop weren't able to sit exams to earn the results, but have to settle for widely-criticised moderated grades, which were lower than teachers' estimates in almost 40% of cases. I can't help wondering what might've happened to myself and other high achievers at my school had the distribution of our grades depended on the school's past performance and largely ignored our own individual trajectories to GCSE and AS. 

I also wonder whether the bitter disappointment felt by so many this year would have been lessened if AS exams still counted towards the final A-level grade, because that would've allowed other forms of mitigation, such as students not dropping more than one or two grades below their AS result. I appreciate that there was not time to administer a replacement formal measure of progress over the 18 months of A-level education completed before schools closed, and not everybody would have achieved as highly as predicted, but surely there could have been a mechanism to submit work that the centre-assessed grades were based on for moderation instead?

Shifting the entire group based on performance of previous cohorts does not seem fair, particularly when many university places won't be held in time for appeals based on meaningful individual factors, such as mock grades. These results influence the course of lives, so it is unfathomable to me that pupils were marked down simply because a lower proportion of previous years' students achieved high grades.

The magic number

A great lesson from my Year in Industry has been not to get hung up on the past, and in particular the numbers arbitrarily assigned to each period of twenty-four hours. The past is not not be longed for, but I will allow myself the odd backwards glance. Numbers are not to be inextricably linked to days gone by, but can make for good code names. As three is both the magic number and the numerological life path number for today, it's prime time for brief reflection on the status of the one, the two, the three, and myself, the zero. I assure you, it'll all add up.

As alluded to in this post, I spent much of March and April struggling to move on from the heady days that came before. The dark side of mixing strong feelings with alcohol was evident from the early hours of February eleventh, seven months ago today, in the messages I sent to the one and the two, because three times is too many. Thankfully, the three was there that night, not only physically to get me home safe, but also digitally to discourage me from interfering too much in the affairs of the one and the two. By March fifth, the pair's affair was seemingly over, but I had a new challenge to face, as I had been fleetingly involved with the one in the way that I wanted to be. I knew at the time that the one was not right for the zero, but I hoped I would one day be proven wrong. The one and the two's evasiveness continued, and on April twenty-eighth I felt the need to step in, leaving the safety of the three behind to follow a lonely path. On June ninth, it became obvious that the one and the two were pairing up after all, and later, with the three, I unknowingly set myself up to do the same. After one more alcohol/feelings combo, there was nowhere left for the zero to go, but up. And up she rose, to partner with the three. One plus two, zero plus three… I told you it would add up.

Who knows if we'll stay as we are? For now, we are all happy, in ways I believe none of us expected seven months ago.

RIP Chester Bennington

Upon opening Facebook this evening, I was shocked and saddened to learn that Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, has reportedly died at the age of 41. I've realised that impact of a musician's death is rather unique, as the music they created has the potential to get stuck in one's head. Waiting For The End came into mine. I only own one Linkin Park album, A Thousand Suns, but songs like Waiting For The End and The Messenger have already gained greater poignancy. Anyway, I'm writing because I feel like sharing some thoughts.

As with most music I'm into, the story of how I got that way about Linkin Park's fourth album is rather unique. It started in October 2010, the month I went on a school trip to Berlin. I became aware that my crush at the time was a Linkin Park fan, so when we returned from the trip I immediately researched them. Around this time I was also pretty obsessed with the Saw films, so I was delighted to discover that the lead singer, Chester Bennington, starred in Saw: The Final Chapter. Being under 18, I couldn't see the film, but I could listen to the band's music. Before doing so, I read a review of their current (at that time) album, A Thousand Suns, which compared it to U2's Achtung Baby. I duly downloaded the album, and while it didn't dislodge Achtung Baby from my top spot, I rated it very highly indeed. I distinctly remember the overwhelming sense of calm I felt while listening to The Messenger on the way to a Jedward concert on 26 November 2010. I haven't felt exactly like that since.

Changing iPods and being rubbish at redownloading music means I haven't listened to the album in a few years. I decided to tonight and I still find it very impressive and enjoyable, though the joyful nostalgia has been punctured with the odd tear. RIP Chester, thank you for the impact you've had on my life, and on the lives of millions of others.

I'm seeing U2 tonight!

Things I might think of during each Joshua Tree song:

1. Stan Wawrinka
2. My solo karaoke performance and kissing whiskey lips 
3. My debut karaoke performance (technically it was an open mic night) 
4. The now two guys who mentioned liking this song when I told them I'm a U2 fan 
5. Sweet sins and bitter tastes left in mouths (does whiskey even taste bitter?) 
6. My dad playing me the song for the first time because it had something to do with Dream Theater 
7. Being a dreamer and getting burned by the fire of love
8. Providing temporary relief to someone
9. Amy 
10. That I used to really dislike it because I couldn't hear it for the first minute or so 
11. When I heard U2-2 perform it and I swear they played a bit of the Miracle Drug riff which made me tear up

Eurovision 2017 and me

It's been a long time coming, but the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 is finally upon us! My Eesti Laul 2017 post details the significance of one particular Eurovision preselection show in my life at the time (which occurred on the eve of a particularly eventful day!) but the entire pre-season has played an integral role in my life!

Albania kicked things off on 23 December, selecting my favourite from 2015, Lindita Halimi, on the same day as had a lovely reunion with my former volunteering co-worker! Fast forward four weeks, and fresh from getting the drunkest I'd ever been (which was superseded on Eesti Laul night) and singing U2's With Or Without You on karaoke, I went out for the second day in a row as Georgia and Belarus chose their entries. After several bars, a club, a kebab shop and a friend's house, I eventually found out the results at Waitrose at 4am, and was utterly delighted that Belarus had chosen their first ever Belarusian language entry by Naviband, which is still my favourite today! The UK's national final was next, and I witnessed Lucie Jones's majestic winning performance in person! The following day, as Finland decided, I was living it up at a U2 tribute concert, and even got to meet "Bono"! I watched the Swiss national final concurrently with the GB vs Canada Davis Cup reverse singles matches for no reason other than Sebalter performing during the interval, then forwent the German selection in favour of a Battle of the Bands competition. I prioritised Eesti Laul semifinals and chatting about eventful nights out over the other selections in mid-February, but got back into things with Latvia at the end of February, and was pleased when Line won, although the lyrics have since become a source of irritation. The Eesti Laul final made for the perfect pre-party to what became a twelve-hour bender, the last hour and a half of which I spent lost on the streets of Exeter. Finding out Verona won at about 10:00pm led me to ramp up the alcohol intake, and impair my memory from about 2:00am onwards, but one thing happened that was impossible to forget. Sunday 5th March was the calm after the storm, as well as the day that two of my favourite songs were chosen. Despite spending the whole day (well, from 08:30 onwards) at home. I tuned in to Romania's final extremely late, and at the exact moment Ilinca feat. Alex Florea emerge victorious, I was notified that I had a visitor, who thankfully was happy to sit through the victory performance of their yodel/pop/rap song. I was alone again by the time Portugal chose Salvador Sobral's sweet Amar Pelos Dois, and the two songs are now inexplicably linked to the memories of that visit.

That was as far as I got before Portugal won the Eurovision Song Contest 2017.

The subsequent fifty days (sequel to a post I never wrote)

Fifty days of struggle, of trying to accept but not knowing how, of recklessness and letting fear take hold. Fifty days of learning, of acting okay but not quite being all right. Fifty days that contained enough crying to make up for the lack of it during the fifty days prior. Fifty days that contained wonderful moments for sure, but also regrettable ones, and many that were both. Fifty days of excessive alcohol consumption, and appreciating how it can make you do things you wouldn't do sober. Fifty days that were.

Despite the melancholic introduction, I know it wasn't all doom and gloom, and to prove it, here's a hastily put together list of fifty things from the last fifty days that I'll take with me, through the next fifty days and beyond!

Knowing that the gluten free rocky road pleased Hannah
Having the third best score in the blue roll challenge
The sheer joy I feel each time the pen landing in the tube (hoping the used of present tense doesn't preclude further success at the challenge!)
Catching up with the Pharm girls the Biomedical Ball
Making Rosé wine
Taking photos in the photobooth at Thekla
Seeing Patent Pending live again, hearing songs I needed, and knowing far more lyrics this time
Talking to Joe from Patent PendingCooking chilli properly this time
Having a blood test
Getting the all clear from the blood test
The London Eurovision Party (especially Slavko)
Correctly guessing Levina was going to the toilets, following her, and then meeting her!
Getting Patent Pending's covers album for a reduced price
Almost getting to the end on Higher or Lower
Discovering Salvador Sobral's album
Dancing alone to Dance Alone in the lab toilets
Being in the lab beyond midnight
The pep talk from Lydia after being in the lab beyond midnight
Sending U2 a video of myself cooking gnocchi
Soraya making me realise I'm not a "sensible drinker"
Reading a 53-page paper in one night
My utter delight at Pospisil beating Murray, and later Federer beating Kyrgios
Several walks to supermarkets
The beauty of the new 6/7 branding
Buying a round of Jägerbombs
Eating Ampelmännchen sweets that were 28 months out of date
Getting to chill out at home over Easter
Amar Pelos Dois becoming chicken bites song
Photographing gorgeous sunsets
Watching old Take That videos and PowerPoint presentations I made
Laying beneath the moon
The Code being 809
Supersonic nail varnish
Creating several great nail art pieces (and keeping up appearances on social media!)
Potting two reds (and one black) in pool
Taking selfie videos while singing along to Eurovision songs with Em
Getting 37 points in a pub quiz
Ensuring I eat decent meals (even if they're microwaved)
Making up the A366 negative control solution completely by myself
Listening to Occidentali's Karma at 19:44 and becoming convinced it'll win Eurovision
Listening to Sweetest Thing, Always and various other songs in the lab
Getting incredible joy from dancing to Beautiful Day and C'est La Vie
Learning that any key excludes Ctrl, Alt and Shift
Singing I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For on karaoke
Getting a meatball marinara from Subway after missing the train
Dancing on the bench at Timepiece
Dancing on the tables at The Monkey Suit
Being accepted and listened to by various people in spite of my eccentricities
Hugs

Eesti Laul 2017

I might not have missed a Eurovision Prediction deadline this Eurovision national final season (yet), but my dedication to the various preselections has waivered a fair amount, in so much that I've only watched 2 of them in full. Those were the United Kingdom (which I saw live!) and Switzerland (while watching a tennis match on TV, and only because Sebalter was the interval act!). Tonight, Eesti Laul brings the total to 3 (or 2.5, because I'll be going out around the time the results show starts)!

Despite being terribly tired and a teensy bit hungover, I diligently watched the semifinals on 11th and 18th February, and even recorded a voice memo during the latter, with commentary on the performances interpolating my 2 hour long summary of the previous night's antics. Now I'd like to publish some of those comments on the internet (with fewer references to the Friday nights out)…

First up, a couple of honourable mentions to songs which didn't make the final, but did, at least, make it onto my iPod:

Leemet Onno - Hurricane 
Although I don't care much for the humming intro, I adore the gritty feel of this song, and the witty lyrics really appeal to me. One of my favourites to dance to when I'm alone in the lab, especially with the line "you're dancing round the room/I can’t let you escape!" Despite this, I wasn't too sad that it didn't qualify, for reasons I'll expand on further down…

Carl-Philip - Everything But You
Another song with lyrics I adore, the intro reminds me of the Robbie Williams song "Feel". I think the harmonies in the live version really lifted the song, and I was disappointed when it failed to qualify.

Now on to the finalists!

Liis Lemsalu - Keep Running
"Keep Running" was my initial favourite of Eesti Laul 2017, and I'd still be happy with it getting the ticket to Kyiv! With its evocative verses and infectious chorus, this song really appeals to my restless spirit, and it never fails to enter my head when I'm at a train station. (In fact, all the trains I've caught since I first heard this song have been "right on time!") As a fellow backpack aficionado, I'm particularly captivated by the line "I've got my backpack ready until the end"!

Koit Toome & Laura - Verona
This song is performed well, but I don't particularly care for the instrumentation or lyrics. It's quite pleasant, but I don't think it's engaging enough to do well at Eurovision. Also it couldn't tempt me to order a Verona pizza when we had Dominos deliver to the lab this Thursday…

Whogaux & Karl-Kristjan feat. Maian - Have You Now
This is a song I find myself singing at odd times in the lab, but I never make it much further than the chorus. I really like the way their voices sound together though!

Lenna Kuurmaa - Slingshot
I find this song quite bland, but the performance is pretty engaging at least. I would've preferred one of my honourable mentions to qualify instead.

Daniel Levi - All I Need
Daniel Levi were my winners in 2015, and while All I Need is no Burning Lights, I've grown to adore it, and will definitely download it once the dark and uninviting staging invariably prevents it winning the ticket to Kyiv! I'm very fond of the sweet lyrics, such as "it’s almost light/but the stars keep singing at our feet". I can't avoid mentioning the line "she told me/at random/at 4 am/I’m with you", because it inspired me to drag a couple of friends to Waitrose after a night out, so that I'd still be in their company at 4am! I won't go into what happened the following few Fridays between said friends, but suffice to say, the song reminds me of simpler times!

Elina Born - In Or Out
Another returnee from the 2015 selection, but Elina has the distinction of actually having made it to Eurovision that year, and "In Or Out" could well take her there again! I didn't immediately warm to the song and I think the staging could be improved, but it's certainly catchy and fun, and with Elina's dazzling vocals it would be a good choice for Eurovision.

Ivo Linna - Suur Loterii
The only Estonian language song to qualify, I become more and more fond of "Suur Loterii" each time I hear it! It has a lovely melody, not too dissimilar to his and Maarja Liis-Ilus' Eurovision entry from 21 years ago. Probably not the most sensible choice for Estonia in 2017, but not one I'd be annoyed at!

Rasmus Rändvee - This Love
This song is the reason I'm okay with "Hurricane" not qualifying, because I feared neither would reach its full potential had they been pitted against each other in the final. This song first got stuck in my head the day I needed rescuing from the lab (because of the line "baby don't come look for me"), and it has hardly left since! The lyrics are my favourite of the competition (and the standard is very high!) but the song is elevated further by Rasmus's flawless vocals and tremendous energy on stage! I really hope he delivers the song with as much gusto at tonight's final!

Ariadne - Feel Me Now
This is a very pleasant song with lovely vocals and simple yet effective staging, but I don't feel it's powerful enough to stand out at Eurovision.

Kerli - Spirit Animal
Kerli certainly brings the power! I find the performance highly engaging and very suitable for Eurovision. However I have some reservations about the song: I struggle to remember the verses, and I think the repetition of the chorus gets a bit too much.

So there you have it, my take on the Eesti Laul 2017 finalists! The main show begins in 45 minutes, at 17:30 GMT, while the results show starts at 19:35 GMT, 5 minutes after the party I'm attending tonight starts!

Lacrimation and motivation

This morning, at approximately half past midnight, I had my first proper cry while on my industrial placement. I shed a couple of tears on Sunday when my family set off back to Bristol, but today's cry was not down to homesickness. In fact, the reason is much closer to my current location.

One year ago today, my Great Uncle Brian died. Uncle Brian, as we tended to call him, lived his entire life in Devon, the county in which I'm spending my placement year. He spent most of his life with his wife, Great Auntie Ena, a fellow Devon native whose brother is my paternal grandfather. When she was in her seventies, Auntie Ena developed dementia. As her condition deteriorated, Uncle Brian's devotion to her never wavered. Despite having his own health issues, he continued to visit her daily at the nursing home until she passed away a few years ago.

Studying for my A-levels prevented me attending Auntie Ena's funeral, but I heard from my grandmother that it was a lovely send-off, with a beautiful eulogy delivered by Uncle Brian. My grandfather was also absent from the funeral, as he had lost the desire to travel more than a couple of miles from home. This turned out to be an early sign that he too had developed dementia, more specifically Alzheimer's disease. When we broke the news to Uncle Brian last summer he was very supportive, but sadly his care and wisdom was lost when he passed away later that year.

It is certainly poignant that I'm researching the disease that took my great aunt and is taking my grandfather here, in their home county. I wish I could have told Uncle Brian, I'm sure he would have been delighted! I intend to make the most of this opportunity for all three of them, as well as the millions of other dementia sufferers and their loved ones.

Second Year in Review

Two years ago yesterday I gained a place at university, and it feels like the right time to finish this post, which has been in my drafts for months! Second year had its ups and downs, but I've made it out all right!

I started second year studying the physiology and pharmacology of the nervous system and completing employability activities for the BREES unit. Year in industry application deadlines were already looming; I missed the first one because it was so early, and the next company ended up cancelling the four placements they were offering. By mid October, diminishing confidence in my abilities and an increasing academic workload were taking their toll, so much so that I ceased applying for placements. I promised myself (and my personal tutor) that I would resume applications in spring, when Janssen in Belgium were expected announce their placement opportunities. Taking this weight off my mind allowed me to focus on my studies and as October came to a close, I made the laborious journey from the pharmacology lab to the O2 Arena to experience my first U2 concert! Finishing the Friday afternoon practical early, I arrived in London with plenty of time to spare and had an incredible time hearing songs that mean so much to me live. The experience was elevated further by Bono singing the elusive Shine Like Stars verse of With Or Without You, for just the 11th time this decade!

November was full of deadlines, but a very enjoyable three days made up for it. On Thursday 26th I had a lot of fun at the Angels vs Devils social, but still managed to sober up in time for the Friday afternoon practical, in which we drank more alcohol to investigate its effects on our reaction times, sensory discrimination and cognitive performance. On Saturday morning I awoke in a hotel room at 5 am ready to fly to Ireland for my second U2 concert. This time around we were on the floor two rows away from the e stage, and the incredible atmosphere resulted in another Shine Like Stars performance, as well as the classic "40" to end an unforgettable evening. Back at uni I had a few more lectures at the beginning of December before the Christmas holidays began. In January I sat three exams and achieved 85% in Neuropharmacology and 82% in Neurophysiology, grades that would really bolster my placement applications.

During the spring term, the BREES workload increased considerably, and on top of that I had to juggle three other units: Pharmacology of Body Systems, Integrative Physiology, and Molecular Cell Biology. Gone were the stay-at-home Thursdays, although Mondays soon freed up, once we'd finished collecting data on our saliva production for physiology. Janssen announced their placements in early February and I took my time writing my application, which I sent at 6:55 pm the day before the deadline. My diligence paid off: I was one of ten candidates selected for a Skype interview. Unfortunately, when the day came, technical issues rendered me invisible to the team in Belgium, but after a shaky start, I tried to make the most of my fifteen minutes face-to-voice with the head of the Neuroscience department. Disappointed, I at least managed to enjoy my first concert of 2016 (Patent Pending) later that day, but two weeks later I found out for sure that I wouldn't be spending my placement year at Janssen.

As the Easter holidays came to an end, it became clear that I'd spent far to much time fearing the outcome of my interview and left very little for other tasks, which included several outstanding assignments. I was alerted to the existence of one particular project just days before the deadline, but thankfully my partner and I managed to construct a half decent presentation in a fraction of the time I would usually take. Collaboration turned to reliance when it came to the BREES enterprise tasks, as I completed the bare minimum to avoid losing marks for lack of commitment. Thankfully I had kept up to date with the BREES research tasks, although I wasn't confident with my analysis for the exam dataset. As the countdown to exams reached single figures, I still had a lot of revision to do, so much so that I averaged about ten lectures per day. The BREES, physiology and pharmacology exams weren't too strenuous, but when it came to the MCB exam I had a crisis of confidence that almost prevented me from taking the exam. I'll be forever grateful for the phone call from my mum which snapped me out of it, because I actually found it pretty good! My results were far better than I expected, with 79 in Pharmacology of Body Systems, 76 in BREES, 73 in Integrative Physiology and even a first in Molecular Cell Biology (with exactly 70!)

Somehow as I was preparing for exams, I found time to apply for two more placements, one at a biotech company in Oxford and the other based at a university an hour's train ride away. While I heard nothing from the former, the latter invited me to an interview on the 6th of June. It was my first time visiting the city, and I was in awe of the beauty of the university grounds. The interview was a really positive experience, and a few hours later I met the other three candidates for a tour of the neurophysiology labs. I left feeling content, but it still came as a shock when, at 5:41 pm, I received an email offering me the placement! Last week I had my induction to the university, my accommodation is all booked, and from September I'll be in the lab trying to understand how brain cell firing changes in Alzheimer's disease. It still feels like a dream, but soon it'll be reality…

Just a stop down the line...

"Don't get on the wrong train." That was the first line of the first song I heard at the most recent concert I went to in London, and it's sound advice for tomorrow, when I undertake my laborious journey from the Biomedical Sciences Teaching Labs to The O2 Arena. Yesterday I found a new route that will shave approximately one minute off of my journey time to the bus stop, and I've looked up the station platforms between which I'll have to traverse, so I'm feeling well prepared! Today I carved a pumpkin with the current U2 tour logo and painted my nails; the thumbs with the same design, and the other nails crimson, to be my crimson nails of success! Right now I'm listening to a live stream of tonight's concert, and almost crying with excitement about tomorrow, when I'm actually gonna be there...

Just 2 stops down the line…

Two years ago today I experienced my second 25-hour day in a row when, the day after the clocks went back, I travelled back from Germany, gaining an hour in the process. Although tomorrow will be 24 hours long, I anticipate it feeling far shorter, as I complete final preparations for my lab session and the journey to London…

4 stops down the line…

Six years ago today I had my first experience of seeing U2 live, when their 360 Tour concert at the Rosebowl in Pasadena was streamed  live on YouTube. After an enjoyable day celebrating my grandad's 65th birthday, I set my alarm for 3:15 am and settled down for a few hours rest. A short time after I had drifted off, it was time to get up and go, all the way downstairs to watch U2ube. I was extremely proud of myself for not drifting off during the twenty minute intro, and when the show began I really perked up! The stand out moment for me was hearing the beautiful Ultraviolet (Light My Way) during the encore; I believe it almost brought me to tears. I'm led to believe that particular highlight won't be repeated in four days time, when I attend my first proper U2 concert, but I'm looking on the bright side: I will be attending my first U2 concert in four days time!!!!

Just 5 stops down the line...

My first U2 show is less than a week away, and I'm getting more excited by the hour. On 18 September I was pretty annoyed to discover I have a practical session in the afternoon, which gives me a mere three and a half hours to get to London before the concert starts. Over the following few weeks, I became pretty confident that I'm gonna make it on time: a quick search on Google maps gave me hope that a train at 17:30, followed by a tube journey, can get me there in time; recces to the train station have taken no longer than 25 minutes; and my dad suggested a fast and hopefully less crowded route to the venue on the tube. Additionally, last week I bought some leather effect trousers to complete my "Female Fly" look for the concert!

Dreaming out loud

It's been a nice rounded 2 years, 3 months and 4 days since I last posted about a concert, and in that time I've seen many more artists, including Gary Barlow, Scouting For Girls, half a dozen Eurovision winners, NKOTB (once), Lawson (twice) 5ive (three times) and most recently, Take That (including Howard for the first time)! However, my all-time favourite band continues to elude me. It's kind of my own fault for becoming a fan a few months after the tickets for their tour had been sold, but how was I to know they wouldn't come back to my country on the next European leg?! Anyway, they will not elude me for much longer...

Last September, U2 surprised the world with the release of their new album, Songs of Innocence, when it turned up on the Apple devices of millions of people worldwide. I was in the minority who were delighted by this, and eager to learn whether seeing them live would be a possibility in the coming year or so. It seemed likely, so I decided to convert my u2.com free membership to a paid subscription in order to get access to presale tickets. Sure enough, on 3 December the tour was announced, including four nights in London, which I could easily get to. But things weren't all positive: the shows were on weeknights in late October, so I'm extremely likely to be in uni on those days (I won't know for sure until 18 September this year); the presale code only allowed me to buy two tickets, but my sister and mother both wanted to come; and signing up after the album release meant I was in the Innocence presale group, so wouldn't have access until a day after long-term subscribers, by which time the general admission tickets I wanted to go for could well have sold out. Setting aside my GA dreams, I decided to try for two presale tickets anyway, and managed to get a pair of seated tickets for my sister and I! The following Monday my mother entered the general sale and succeeded getting herself a ticket only a few blocks away from us!

But that's not all! A week ago, six Irish dates were added to the tour itinerary: two in Belfast and four in Dublin, including one Saturday. Getting to Ireland for this date seemed feasible, as I could fly over after university on Friday evening, so I decided to try to get tickets. Having already used my presale code, I had to enter the general sale on 14 September. While setting up a Ticketmaster account, I noticed some student tickets would be available. I decided to go for them, as my sister and I are both eligible, and the demand for them would be lower than for general admission tickets. I was entered into the ticket queue at 9:00 am and after about 15 minutes, was able to select two student general admission tickets! At 9:23 am I received email confirmation of my purchase and the fact that I'll be going to Dublin to see U2!

So I now have two opportunities to see my favourite band and hear my favourite songs live, the first in just over six weeks! I'll try to keep this blog updated as the time approaches...

First year was a great time, second year...

...will hopefully be a blast!

After a very relaxed summer, I'm now only a couple of weeks away from the start of my second year at university. First year was wonderful, and I'm really excited to get back to the grind of daily bus journeys, 3 hour practicals and 6:00 am starts (ideally not too many of them). This year I only have two proper units during the first term, neuropharmacology and neurophysiology, which should ease me into level 5 study. However this time round I'll be juggling my studies with writing and sending applications for the placement year I'm hoping to do in 2016/17. I'm working on my first one at the moment, the deadline for which is mid October, as well as trying to formulate a general cover letter and CV to get a head start on subsequent applications. I know very few placements will be available, but if I'm unsuccessful I can still look into alternative ways to get experience, such as a summer internship.